Happiness Along the Chocolate Trail
by Bonzai-Bunny
Summary: There was no doubt in Mello's mind that he would kill Matt for his birthday present. MattxMello


Warning: Language and mild yaoi (MattxMello).  
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.  
Authoress Note: Haha, I've never had this much cussing in a fanfic before. xD This is what happens when you involve an angry (Bipolar) Mello. This is my first time writing Matt and it is set after Mello joined the mafia. Un beta'd.

--o0o--

"What the fuck is this?"  
Was Mello's exact response when he opened a peculiarly chocolate shaped box for his birthday present.  
Inside were condoms. A bunch of fucking condoms.  
Matt was going to die.

The same Matt who seemed to think this was the funniest thing in the whole world and was trying to hide his amused smirk by keeping his head low and concentrated on his game.  
"What the fuck is what, dear?"

Mello could just _hear_ the amusement dripping from the gamer's voice.

The box was shoved underneath the redhead's freckled nose, catching him slightly off guard.  
"What the fuck is _this_?" Mello snarled out. He didn't even have chocolate to calm him down, because _someone_ had taken it that morning and hidden it only God knew where.

Matt had insisted that Mello had simply misplaced the sweets, but there is no way that Mello would loose something as precious as chocolate, especially not three boxes full.

The blonde was quickly going from annoyed to pissed to irate in a matter of seconds.

Not only was it his birthday and he was given this farce of a birthday present, he was chocolate-less, and God damnit, Matt had gotten him _condom_s?

Said gamer was lifting the tinted goggles off of his emerald eyes and mock-examining the box and its contents.  
"I believe they are condoms," He said in the straightest voice he could muster. Mello's expression was just too priceless.  
"I know what they fucking are!" The blonde snapped. "Why the hell would you get me condoms for my birthday!?"  
Matt's indifferent expression was somehow making Mello angrier as the redhead leaned back and eyed the blonde coolly.  
"So we could have a little fun tonight," Matt stated while wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Mello snarled, grabbed the collar of the gamer's striped shirt and wound it around his fist. "What the fuck makes you think by tonight you'll have anything to stick into a condom?"

Matt paled at the threat. He knew that Mello was just crazy enough to go through with it and judging by the deathly low tone of the blonde's voice and the sadistic gleam in his azure eyes, Mello was certainly ready to get out his knife.

For the first time that morning, Matt began to think that perhaps stealing the blonde's chocolate wasn't a good idea. Mello _with_ his chocolate was scary enough, and in all honesty Matt didn't even consider what the younger boy might be like without it.

"Relax, Mel." Matt tried once Mello had released his shirt. He rubbed his neck nervously, thankful that Mello didn't try to go for that.

Unfortunately, Matt didn't even consider the possibility of Mello flinging the prank present at the face, which is exactly what Mello did. Thankfully, Matt had put his goggles back on and the blonde started pacing the room in rage as Matt rubbed his nose

"Relax!? You want me to relax!?" Mello cried indignantly. "I wake up this morning expecting something a little nice for my birthday and then what? I find that all of my chocolate is gone!"

"Mello?"

"No, listen to me! And then I get this shitty gift and you don't even care because your only concern is to have sex with me!"

"Mello . . ."

"And you aren't even going to tell me where my chocolate is!? I never asked for much! I didn't ask for a fucking gift basket from Godiva!"

"Mello."

"I mean, shit, Hershey would be nice! But no, I get this shitty gift because my shitty boyfriend doesn't even care that it's my birthday!

"Mello!"

"_What!?"_

"Happy birthday."

The blonde blinked as Matt handed him an extra dark chocolate Ghirardelli bar and his mouth immediately began to water.  
He didn't have Ghirardelli too often because Mello went through chocolate like most people went through water and at five dollars a bar, he had to settle for the cheaper stuff.  
He took the bar and sent a glare at Matt that said, "I'm still pissed at you."

Matt smirked waited for the blonde to take off the cardboard Ghirardelli casing. When he did, a key fell out along with a piece of paper.

Mello picked them up. The paper read, "Go to the parking garage."  
The blonde gave the gamer a very flat look. "This better not be another joke."

Matt shrugged and smirked. "Why don't you find out?"  
Mello growled at the vague response and tore off the golden wrapper, because that's what the chocolate was to him; it was fucking golden.  
He took a bite into the dark square and was immediately lost in heaven. It hit his tongue like an explosion of flavor and all Mello could think about was the rich darkness and lingering sweetness. He groaned and took another bite.

Matt couldn't help but to smile at his boyfriend's reaction. For the wild child Mello seemed to be, sometimes the boy could be so predictable.  
"Is it good?"

The fact that Mello was so lost in the chocolate to even respond, was a tell tale sign that it was.  
After a few more seconds of indulgence, Mello remembered the forgotten key and note.  
He took another bite, the chocolate snapping between his teeth. "All right, let's go."

--o0o--

In the elevator of the parking garage, Mello began to wonder if he should have brought his gun, because if this turned out to be another prank, he would certainly shoot the gamer. Not a kill shot, Matt was too valuable for that, but perhaps in the shin or something. A shot that would cripple him.

Plus, Mello had eaten the chocolate that Matt had bought and the only thing that was close in ability to calm him down was his semi-automatic Beretta Storm. When his hand was secured around the handle, the control he felt was unparalleled to anything.  
Mello loved his gun almost as much as he loved chocolate.  
Matt came at a close third.

"Here we are."

Mello almost ran into the back of Matt, being too busy glaring at the back of his head and planning his demise to notice that they were at their destination. The blonde looked around and decided that he certainly _wasn't_ going to kill Matt.

In front of Mello sat all of the chocolate he was told he misplaced, but really knew that Matt took. Not only that, but there was more chocolate, in individual bars placed around a brand new motorcycle.  
He looked back at Matt with wide eyes, who was staring back at him with barely concealed glee.  
"Matt . . .?" He asked breathlessly, approaching the vehicle.

"Yes, dear?"

Mello ran his gloved hand along the body. It was cherry red, sleek, and Mello couldn't wait to see how she drove. While examining it, he noticed a small emblem in black on the gas tank.

It was the gothic M.

"Did-did you get me this?" Quite frankly, the blonde was still awestruck.  
Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's waist and nuzzled against the boy's neck. "Yeah," He mumbled. "You like?"  
Mello nodded, distracted, still staring at the bike.

"How did you pay for this?" The blonde had to assume that whatever means the gamer had made to pay for it, they weren't conventional. After all Mello was in the mafia and brought home the bacon, not Matt.

"You remember that console I made that could play almost any type of game?"  
Mello turned around, wide-eyed at his boyfriend. "You _sold_ that? But you loved that thing!"  
Matt shrugged indifferently. "Yeah, well you're worth it," He mumbled, and then suddenly he adjusted his goggles and smiled. "Plus I'm making a new one. It'll be even better than the last. You should see the converter I made for—"

Matt was cut off when lips met his.

It was actually one of the softest kisses they've had in awhile, with their lips just melding into each other's. It was like in the beginning of their relationship when everything was new and not as rushed and blatantly sexual.  
Mello broke the kiss and brushed his thumb against Matt's lips. They stayed silent for awhile, both of them gazing into each other's eyes until something darted across Mello's expression and Matt received a slap to the face.

It wasn't a sissy slap by any means and the sound of it echoed throughout the garage, the initial impact only made more painful by the chilly air.

"Ow! What the hell, Mello!?"  
Matt clutched his face, and stared up at Mello in disbelief.  
Well, not total disbelief. Part of him expected that.

"Was there any reason you couldn't have given me this _without_ destroying my morning!?"

Matt straightened up and grinned, despite the pain. "Where's the fun in that?"  
The redhead almost expected another slap, but Mello had picked up a chocolate bar. He tore off the wrapper and bit into it with a snarl.

"You're an ass."

Matt snaked his arms around Mello's waist again. "I know, but you love me anyway." Mello sighed, the warmth of Matt's body against his was really comforting, and took another agitated bite of his chocolate.

"No, I don't." He lied and shivered when the redhead's tongue slid along the shell of his ear. "Liar." Matt's hand slid down his waist and drew circles along Mello's leather-clad thigh.

"I bet you want to make use of those condoms up stairs."  
The blonde gasped when Matt bit down lightly on his neck and began to suck at the slight bruise.

It was very hard for Mello to deny the want to make use of the condoms. In fact, it was hard for Mello to do much of anything, especially concentrate because of _Matt's damn hand on his thigh._

Oh, Matt would pay for this later.

Much . . . _much_ . . . later.

And as they started to strip themselves in the elevator, a small, nagging thought in the back of Mello's mind couldn't help but to think that this was all planned out by the gamer.

Owari.

--o0o--

Authoress Note: xD I can't seem to write a serious DN fic. Only pure crack. This started out as me complaining about the lack of sweets in my house and somehow turned into this. Please review.


End file.
